Removing Yourself From The Situation

Today I have learnt first hand that removing yourself from an explosive situation is an effective step in resolving the problem. Notice that I used the word step. Simply removing yourself from the difficult circumstance will not resolve it, but it will mean that you will have the space to think more clearly, away from the heat of the moment. The ability to review the situation in a calmer manner is an essential part of the process of finding a solution and coming to a compromise.

When you get into an argument, you are fighting for your point of view, and everything you say seems rational in your mind. From my perspective, I know that I can argue for England and I can be extremely forceful about it, not letting others get a word in edgeways. When I am arguing I always think that I am completely right - otherwise I wouldn't be arguing about it! Even when I begin to realise that maybe I'm not so right, I hate backing down and admitting that I'm wrong. I am completely unable to swallow my pride.

That's why today I found removing myself from the situation for a few hours so helpful. I went and did something fun to take my mind of the situation for a while, but it also meant that when I was ready I was able to reflect on what had happened and the way I had behaved. Talking about it with the people I was with helped too, as they were able to give their insight on what had happened. It made me see that perhaps I over-reacted slightly because I was so caught up in defending my point of view. I got far to worked up about such a small thing, and the situation escalated because of my angry, defensive reaction. After taking myself out of the tense atmosphere for a while, I was able to return to the house in a much more relaxed state of mind. It took a lot for me to do what I did next - because I HATE apologising - but that is exactly what I did. Its not an easy thing to do at all, but that one word really can have so much meaning (if of course you do actually mean it). Sometimes though, that isn't quite the end of it, and you may be asked to explain exactly what you are sorry for. This takes even more courage because it is admitting you are wrong and explaining it specifically, which is extremely difficult for any human being to do! But I proved today that it really can be done. If you can't bring yourself to say sorry, then maybe a compromise can be more easily reached when you are in a calmer state!

Picture source: http://www.totallifecounseling.com