10) Personalisation

Personalisation is the final one in the list of the 10 most common cognitive distortions (thinking errors). It occurs when you assume excessive responsibility for a negative, even when there is no basis for doing so. For example you may think: "He didn't come to my party, I must be a horrible person."  You arbitrarily conclude that what happened was your fault, or that it reflects your inadequacy. Therefore it makes you feel unnecessarily guilty. You carry the weight for everything that goes wrong - everything is related to some deficiency within yourself. You overlook the fact that others may have played a part, and you blame yourself entirely.

Personalisation causes you to feel extreme guilt. You carry the burden and sense of responsibility that forces you to carry the whole world on your shoulders. You have confused influence with control. Is it really worth feeling this amount of guilt when you don't have to? Why feel this extra burden when you don't need to?

Automatic thoughts: Megan doesn't like me at all. She wouldn't have shouted at me like that if she did.

Possible answers: I am not the only person Megan shouts at. She is always on edge when things are not going well for her, and she shouts at whoever is around. I've seen her do it. She will get over it, and will probably apologise.

Picture source: http://magicreminders.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html